S,
I steal glances at you from across the room. I know you do too.
Sometimes our eyes meet, but we quickly look away.
When we wander aimlessly through the record store you put your arm around my waist and we sway back and forth while bantering about album artwork.
Your name appears on my phone almost every day. We talk about anything and everything.
You lie in my bed and hold me close to your body. We breathe together.
We sit in silence. Words are not needed.
I think of you before I sleep. I think of you when I wake.
The days I see you are always good. The days I don’t… I usually forget.
My favourite songs make me think of you.
When I’m driving; you rest your hand on my leg. You don’t do it in a sexual way. You do it in an “I’m here” way.
When we sit in the back seat you run your finger along my forearm. That’s usually when the goose bumps start.
When we walk together you rest your hand on the back of my bare neck.
You don’t do that to the other girls we know.
But you have a girlfriend… and it’s not me.
I have a secret.
I love you.
I love you like I love the sun on a Winter’s morning.
I love you like the last cider in the fridge.
I love you like Nutella.
I love you like the smell of the grass after the rain.
I love you like I have never loved before.
I want you to be my first kiss.
I want you to be my last love.
I want you to hold my hand while we’re walking.
I want you to run your fingers through my hair.
I want to take you home to meet my parents.
I want to spend a whole day watching cartoons with you.
I want to love you for the rest of my existence.
But you love another.
So I will continue to love you.
But I will do it from afar.
I love you too much to rip your relationship apart with my bare teeth.
But I will always hold a spark of hope close to my heart, that one day you will love and adore me, the way I do you.
Always,
P.
